Poly Under 35's topics - tribe.net

Monday: SF poly under 40 coffeehouse social

2007-12-14T22:30:26Z

Tribe has been sucking on the event announcements recently, so I'm posting in topics as well for visibility:

Monday Dec 17th (every 3rd Monday)
6-7:30pm, dinner and possible clubbing afterwards

Muddy Waters Coffeehouse
521 Valencia St, between 16th and 17th
San Francisco

We've been holding this event since September, and it is rocking right along, growing each time. Come join us!

Details:
http://sanfrancisco.tribe.net/event/SF-poly-under-40-coffeehouse-social-this-Monday-Dec-17th/san-francisco-ca/945a7bbe-8ea5-4064-9d63-d9e8e008496a

posted in Poly Under 35 - 0 replies

SF Poly Under 40 Coffeehouse Social, Mon Sept 17

2007-09-13T17:52:02Z

Monday Sept 17 (3rd Monday)
6-8pm, possible dinner afterwards

Muddy Waters Coffeehouse
521 Valencia St, between 16th and 17th
San Francisco

Jen, Pepper, and whoever they can pull in will be chatting, socializing, and generally getting up to wacky hijinks at the Muddy Waters coffeehouse next Monday. This is not a discussion or activism group, but rather just a regular social gathering - we will repeat this event the 3rd Monday of every month. We welcome poly and nonmonogamous people (new, curious, or experienced) under 40 years of age.

We will probably be in the back room of Muddy Waters - go around the counter to find us. Our table will have a bondage teddy bear on it. There may not be seating for everyone if a large crowd shows, but we'll prioritize those who need it more. We ask that people buy something small at Muddy, if you have the funds, so they don't kick us out.

We will likely be going out to dinner afterwards, at a place to be negotiated while at the coffeehouse. You are welcome to show at the coffeehouse at any point between 6 and 8 pm. If you arrive later and wish to join us for dinner, call Pepper at 415 305 8766.

To arrive by public transport, take the BART to the 16th St station in San Francisco, walk one block west along 16th to Valencia and take a left. To arrive by car, if you are having trouble parking, try the area at Mission and 14th or 15th. Do not leave anything valuable and visible in your car. Do not park in the center turn lane of Valencia - you will likely be ticketed.

RSVPs are not required, but we would appreciate a note if you think you are going to join us.

Apologies to the 40-and-over crowd. We are holding this event because under-40 folks have been largely unable to establish a strong foothold in any of the usual SF-area poly social events (with some exceptions, like the pool parties).

Pepper

posted in Poly Under 35 - 2 replies

Just turned 36

2007-08-25T05:11:02Z

...so I guess I had better sign off of this tribe. Is there a poly under-40 tribe? Anyone want to start one?

See ya folks...

posted in Poly Under 35 - 2 replies

Would love to meet new friends!

2007-08-05T05:56:29Z

Hi...I joined this tribe a while back but never got too into tribe.net (i think i grow impatient with the virtuality of computer land and just want to meet people in person--you know what i mean, yes?) But here i am, back and putting my heart out there to connect with some new folks in the Bay Area. I live in Berkeley with my girlfriend. We're both poly and into all genders and pushing the end of our twenties. I just feel like getting out, meeting you other poly folks who i know are out there and seeing where that goes. I welcome your suggestions for social/support groups, non-BDSM-focus play parties, interesting places to meet sexually open-minded folks, invitations to hang out with you, whatever else you can think of (i know the playa would probably be the best place for me, but sadly, not gonna make it this year--i've got an unfortunately restrictive job for the time-being). I really loved the movie Shortbus--wish i knew of a space like that in the Bay Area. Have a lovely day/night XXXXAutumn

posted in Poly Under 35 - 0 replies

Tippy the Tangeroo here!

2007-07-30T01:25:36Z

Hi all,
I thought I'd introduce myself so... Hi I'm Tippy and I am in a commited relationship looking for others to play and explore with. I'm also interested to find out if there is a place where poly under 35 people meet up. The few play parties I've been to have been populated with people way older than I which has kinda turned me off from play parties altogther (not to say older is bad but 20 years older freaks me out a bit). But if there is a secret place everyone is hiding out I'd love to check it out.
Can't wait to meet everyone,
Tippy

posted in Poly Under 35 - 8 replies

June picnic?

2007-05-09T05:18:13Z

Any ideas on a date for a June poly under 35 picnic somewhere?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 0 replies

transitions

2007-05-08T20:54:55Z

(crossposted in other related tribes for maximum responses :)

How do you tell the difference between a relationship turning into a friendship, and NRE deepening into lasting love?

I guess this is both, in your experience, and what do you think are signs?
I'm wondering because sometimes I'm unsure if my deepening love and less passionate crazy love indicates a move towards friendship or perhaps a move into stability, and I'm curious what other people think about that.

posted in Poly Under 35 - 1 reply

ok, FINALLY!

2007-04-29T05:21:21Z

I'm back in the game- I have more time, and I'm a little less stressed.
So!
Shall we do another munchie munch, maybe outside somewhere, perhaps in May?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 1 reply

No munchie munch this month

2006-12-15T02:42:06Z

3 reasons-
I am poor.
I HAVE to focus on schoolwork and not cookie baking.
There is a cute boy involved. :)
How about a mid Jan get together, in which we can eat holiday cookies and celebrate my birthday late?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 2 replies

Polycookiery Munchie Munch!

2006-12-04T22:39:37Z

The pie brunch went really well, and I'm excited to announce we'll be doing a cookie munch in December!
Now, I want to do it on a Sunday, but the 17th is taken for me. Any suggestions as to when?
To clarify- people who are cookie-making-impaired can still come; they can bring something else- cider, say, or hot cocoa, or bakery cookies. :) You don't have to be a pastry chef! We may even have a gingerbread house to decorate. Ambitious of me, I know, but hey, why not?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 7 replies

New to Poly...HELP!

2006-12-04T17:56:40Z

So, I have been in a poly relationship for about 4 months now, and I need some advice. I am also in a 24/7 Master/slave relationship. My owner is married, and we live with his wife, although I am his primary partner. We spend most of our time together, and recently, he has started dating a few other women. I have been ok with most things, I got past a lot of the jealously early on as I knew what I was coming into. More recently though, I have found myself wondering a lot of the time..."Why does he do this for/with her, but not for/with me?" I know this isn't healthy, and I try really hard to keep these feelings to myself and not trouble him with it. I don't want to cause drama in our already crazy lives. So, I am asking, how do you deal with that? How do you get past the jealousy of what a partner does for others, and not for you? How do you communicate that you are feeling left out, with out causing drama?
Thank you for your advice!
Cailin

posted in Poly Under 35 - 3 replies

Poly Pie Brunch!

2006-11-21T06:54:38Z

Tis the season for Thankgiving... and, oftentimes, family squabbling, too much food, and headaches galore.
Before all of that, why not come over for a pie brunch?
Everyone brings a pie- homemade or bakery-made, please, not Safeway! When you RSVP, please let us know what pie you plan to bring, and be creative- savory pies are good too. I hope to be making a macaroni and cheese pie, along with a pumpkin or apple one.
Any extra pies that don't get cut into, we will be donating to a food pantry or a battered women's shelter for the holidays.
:)
Yay for pie!

I have it set for Sunday, November 19th. Who wants to come?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 9 replies

A funny supermarket observation

2006-11-02T04:03:45Z

No matter what you are buying at the supermarket, it seems if you buy condoms or douche at the same time, they will always think the wrong thing. Like say you need duct tape for a project and some rope for camping, then you pick up a few beers and some condoms. Or better yet just some pizza and knitting supplies, or batteries for your childs favorite toy and some feminine hygene products.

I find this quite amusing.

posted in Poly Under 35 - 5 replies

Pie Brunch

2006-10-30T01:59:55Z

Ok, here's what I want to see-
I want a poly pie brunch.
Everyone brings a homemade pie or two. We dig into a bunch of them, and the ones we don't eat get donated to a charity.
I thought it'd be a nice Thanksgiving sort of thing.
roblem is, where to host? I may be able to but I'm moving soon... don't know how soon.

posted in Poly Under 35 - 6 replies

who are we, where we at?

2006-10-27T15:01:40Z

I was thinking of investigating coffeeshops and cafes with the intention of suggesting a get-together for us all, but I don't know where we're concentrated (should I pick one in the city, east bay?). I've noticed a lot of people from the bay area though, so I thought maybe we could do introductions and inventory of sorts.

plus I'm new, and I like to get to know y'all

1)Where do you live?

2)do you have a favorite coffee shop you'd like to suggest?

3)favorite hobby/creative-pass-time/medium?
______________________________________

Oakland

I like cafe international at haight and fillmore

collage

posted in Poly Under 35 - 18 replies

poly under 35 events?

2006-10-23T02:18:51Z

this tribe looks like it's in a lull... and just when i finally got to the bay area.

well, is there any poly under 35 gatherings going on anymore? like that polycookiery thing?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 8 replies

sexy food for sexy people

2006-10-22T07:06:18Z

hi there,
I want to being throwing some fun and a sexy dinner party series. people cuming to together for sexy food and fun. I'm a recent culinary student graduate and an all around fun time. i'm great with parties and if your interrested in throwing or attending a party like this let me know i'd love the support... especiall for venues. i can orangize the party for you and cost, and of course food... but i have to find some good people with positive vibes interested. i'm going to be selective about the who and where, Please let me know your comments cares concerns and questions.
have a beautiful day
Chef Emma Dilemma

posted in Poly Under 35 - 0 replies

New Tribe

2006-09-01T00:00:54Z

Hi everyone!
Just letting you know that I started a new tribe for Los Angeles area poly folk. We've been meeting in person weekly for two months now and the group is growing strong! Feel free to message me if you want to join. :-)
Amy

posted in Poly Under 35 - 0 replies

Friends with your lover's lover?

2006-08-21T08:07:17Z

Hey all,

I notice there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of conversation in this group, so I thought I'd start something up.

For those of you in a committed partnership, do you tend to be friends with your partners lover(s)? If so, do you think that's something that's real important to make it work, or it just happens to work out that way?

My fiance has a lover who she's been seeing for several months now. We've met, he's a great guy, and I get along with him fine. He's not a close friend, and I don't feel drawn to develop a really close friendship with him, but I consider us good acquaintances.

My fiance would really like it if we became better friends. She feels that would put her more at ease, and things would be smoother between all three of us. I'm having some resistance to that, feeling pressured to develop a close friendship with someone I normally wouldn't. I think there's also some part of me that's a little scared, and not completely comfortable. I've spoken to my fiance about all this, so she's aware what I'm feeling.

So I'm curious about what your experiences have been on this topic. Any words of wisdom, context, or stories to share?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 8 replies

August 5th- South Bay TNG (and partners) Taking over Edges Dungeon!

2006-08-01T18:00:11Z

Saturday, August 5th – South Bay TNG Takes over Edges
1am until 9am
Who: Ages 18-35 years (with their partner)
Cost: $15 for play party (with membership) and $10 for the after hours takeover.

The South Bay Next Generation group is having a slumber party @ Edges after their members play party. We will be watching movies, having snacks, available for play, and more. Come to the dungeon early, enjoy the play party and chill out afterwards. Or you can come over late and play until dawn. It is up to you! Bring a sleeping back, pillows, blankets, and preferably toothbrush and paste. Don’t forget your toys. If you have fun movies to share, then bring them along too: any sort are welcome.

*RSVP: Edges@Edges.biz or 408-496-1132 for directions

posted in Poly Under 35 - 0 replies

Flirting with a "Platonic" Friend?

2006-07-31T18:05:36Z

Hi everyone,
I posted this over in the regular Polyamory tribe and wanted to get some replies here, too. Please let me know what your thoughts are.

part 1
<<I'd like to know what everyone's thoughts are on flirting... specifically, flirting between two supposed "platonic" friends. Do you flirt with friends that are strictly platonic, or does acting in a sexually suggestive manner go beyond platonic? What are your boundaries regarding who you flirt with/act sexually with? What do you consider flirting, what do you consider sexually suggestive? Where do sexual comments fit into this? Physical contact?

IMO, at a base level we flirt with others to express sexual interest. I personally don't engage in a flirty or sexual manner with anyone I wouldn't desire some sort of sexual contact with. That doesn't mean I don't express my sexuality or am not comfortable with my sexuality around my close friends, but to me flirting and acting in a sexual manner crosses several boundaries, and platonic is platonic--*nothing* sexual.

I'd prefer not to share too many of the lurid details, but basically I'm having a falling out with a good friend (that admittedly I've had deep feelings for for a couple years but not really vocalized to him) that has a lot to do with flirting and being sexual around each other. He's saying it's strictly platonic and that I'm reading too much into his actions, however 1) we're not open about our flirting, and he's in a committed relationship with someone I'm sure has no idea what goes on between us when she's not around (and she's not poly, and obviously he's not much of an ethical monogamist), 2) apparently he's always known how I've felt about him yet has continued to engage in a sexual manner. I've laid it on the table that I can no longer participate in this, that I have feelings for him, etc., he admits attraction for me but that the flirting was harmless. Well, there's a lot more but that's the bare bones of it, and I'd rather keep the rest of it confidential. >>

part 2
<<Well let's see... he only engages me in physical contact if nobody else is around, including hugging hello/goodbye (and for those of you who know me IRL i hug *everybody*, and though I'm very sexually open i'm also very shy, and i don't easily let a lot of people in), he's initiated horseplay (pillow fight), coy glances/look away/look back and hold for a few seconds, a totally random comment about my performing oral sex, he usually just comes over on nights when his SO is working and stays pretty late. I'm not blind to the way he looks at me sometimes, and i definitely know now that he's not blind to the way i've been looking at him either. There's other obscure stuff. I dunno how it seems to you guys, probably for the most part harmless, but what's really bugging me is that he says he knew how i felt but continued to act in a way that gave me false hope, and i feel we acted inappropriately behind our partners' backs. he says he loves me dearly and that i'm like family to him, but there's little that's familial about our interactions. Both of my partners have commented on the tension between he and I.
I honestly don't feel that I've read too much into his actions/words, and now he thinks i'm obsessed with him. No, I just have feelings for him and I feel a little betrayed :-( He seems to think I'm pointing fingers and stirring up drama, when my intention was only to tell him how i feel about him and how i felt about our continued interactions. he's in a mono relationship with a mono person that i'm having difficulty establishing a friendship with because of how he and i interact. uggghhh, like I said it's a *long* story!
what originally set me off about having to come clean in the first place: I had been planning on going to BM this year with he and his SO. Because he and i have fooled around before, and BM is, well, it's just that--an environment where I'd be in close proximity to 2 people that i have very confused feelings about, one of whom i've had a sexual encounter with *and* have feelings for, the other I'm not even sure if she knows what's gone on in the past, there's drugs, there's revelations, there's nudity, things happen (LOVE happens, heheheh). if there was even the remotest chance that i was going to be that emotionally vulnerable with the remotest chance that we'd fool around, it wasn't gonna happen unless all cards were on the table for everyone, but the big thing for me is that... i don't just want to fool around with this person, i feel so much more for them then that. and i needed to express that. so i agonized for about a month making myself extremely physically ill in the process, then bit the bullet and came clean. And that about fills in the gaps.
i dunno... all i can think is that either he has feelings for me and he's just not being honest because he can't act on it right now, or that he made a conscious decision to mislead me.
eek! help!>>

posted in Poly Under 35 - 1 reply

been busy

2006-06-27T03:23:31Z

school kicked my ass.
and now, pride month, and then, travel, will also kick my ass.
what's everyone up to?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 3 replies

San Francisco Pride Polyamory Contingent, June 25th

2006-06-23T17:22:46Z

Hey folks, I hope to see some of you marching with us on
Market St. this year. We had a great time the last two years
and I expect we will top it this Sunday.

The theme this year is WINGS! If you have any, bring them.
I will be bringing a limited supply. If you don't have wings,
show up anyways!

We are renting a pickup truck, and we will have a sound system
playing good parade music (probably thumpy techno, though feel
free to bring your own). People who do not want to walk the route
are welcome to ride in the truck, and will double as DJs.

We should be finished marching around 12:30, so there is plenty
of time to watch the rest of the parade and bounce around the
celebration area afterwards, which is in fact what most of us
will be doing. In addition, the bi folks are holding a picnic in
Dolores Park afterwards.

Here's the lineup information:

Our Line-Up Number: 148
Assembly Area Location: Beale St. between Mission &Howard
Assembly time: 10:30 am, June 25th

Note that we will probably not start moving until after 11:30, so
if you arrive a bit late, no worries. However, once we start going
it is pretty much impossible to catch the contingent, given the
crowds and fairly rapid parade pace.

To get there, take the BART or Muni to either the Montgomery
or Embarcadero stations, and then walk to Beale (which is between
the two stations) and walk south to find our contingent. If you are
driving, it is possible to park in SOMA but you should be prepared for
a tricky parking environment if you do not get there early. Getting
back to your car by public transport is easy.

We are lining up next to BABN, so if you need to ask someone
for directions, ask for the Bay Area Bisexual Network. (We will
be marching separately from BABN, though we are sharing
resources. The truck will be between the two contingents.)

If you have any questions, do not hesitate to call me at
415 305 8766. Hope to see you out there!

Pepper

PS. I will also be at the Trans March, and I am trying to assemble
a squad. Feel free to give me a ring if you are thinking of going.

posted in Poly Under 35 - 0 replies

Postponement of Munchie Munch

2006-05-18T05:54:05Z

In exchange, I was thinking we could resume in June with a Polyflickery presentation of Three of Hearts, and have snacks and maybe a BBQ then.
What do you think?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 1 reply

Announcing- PolyFlickery!

2006-04-24T16:33:14Z

Due to the success of the PolyCookiery Munchie Munch, we're created a second event!

PolyFlickery is a film event with a guided discussion afterwards. We'll gather together to watch a poly/relationship film, and then discuss the questions it brings up in a round-table way. This will be a more-organized get-together than the munchie munch, but will only be as organized as we decide we want it to be. :)

The first film we'll be watching is going to be "Loving and Cheating", followed by a discussion about negotiation, jealousy, and how we stumbled across polyamory in the first place.

Please bring snacky foods and beverages for us to enjoy!

It's at:

The Pizza Palace
1213 B Lincoln Ave
Alameda, Ca

on April 23rd
from 8:00 PM til we get kicked out

posted in Poly Under 35 - 15 replies

t-shirts?

2006-04-20T07:34:10Z

I'm hoping to track down some poly/threesome t-shirts for the summer. Suggestions?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 0 replies

X-posted- Sex-Positive Survivors tribe

2006-03-29T20:16:22Z

I wanted to make a tribe for those of us in the sex-positive community who are survivors of sexual, physical or emotional abuse. I think sex and abuse are usually linked for survivors, but that a lot of resources aren't prepared for a sex-positive community. Therefore, I created one.
tribes.tribe.net/sexpositivesurvivors

BTW- It's a moderated tribe, for discussion directly related to this topic. People posting hookup stuff or events not directly related will be booted.

posted in Poly Under 35 - 0 replies

thoughts on the munchie munch

2006-03-27T19:32:35Z

So I think we'll have these cookie munches more often. They're pretty popular, and loads of fun- I like the intimacy and homeiness of having them here, and not in a cafe somewhere. We may extend to snacks, so as to avoid all the sugar. :) We will also probably do a picnic/BBQ as the weather gets nicer, perhaps as a stand in for the cookie munch.
I think we'd like to do these every other month, always on some Sunday during the month, probably later in the month. I also think we should do a movie/reading discussion group on the alternate months, where we get together to read something or watch a movie, and then discuss questions brought up by that piece. This would allow us to discuss things more, in an organized fashion. I need a parrot stuffed animal for these, to pass around for people to speak. Suggestions of things to watch or short things to read would be great- a place to hold these would be great too, tho we could certainly do them here.

posted in Poly Under 35 - 17 replies

the "New Monogamy"?

2006-03-26T19:48:24Z

http://newyorkmetro.com/lifestyle/sex/annual/2005/15063/

This is interesting. The New Monogamy apparently means monogamy with sanctioned cheating...?
Discuss.

Oh, and "professional opinions"- http://lifestyle.msn.com/Relationships/CouplesandMarriage/ArticleIV2.aspx?cp-documentid=299661&GT1=7909

posted in Poly Under 35 - 4 replies

Upcoming- Polyflickery, April 23rd

2006-03-25T19:25:56Z

So there's a plan in the works to do a movie showing and discussion April 23rd, at Kevin's place in Alameda.
I think what we'll watch is "Loving and Cheating". I'll begin work on a discussion plan from there.

"Traditional marriage vows ask couples to "forsake all others." Marrying partners look each other deep in the eye and say "yes" But does monogamy work? LOVING & CHEATING explores the gray areas of commitment and infidelity and with ardor and provocation touches issues everyone can identify with, but rarely anyone wants to talk about.

A former male stripper and his wife discuss the effects of their mutual affairs; a young engaged couple confront their differing views on cheating; a Baptist minister and his wife reflect on the success of their 50 year marriage; a middle-aged couple who call themselves "poly-amorous" explain how they opened their marriage. The widely read advice columnist Dan Savage weighs in with his audacious opinions, along with other therapists and other "sexperts." Interwoven throughout the film are surprising and hilarious archival clips from newsreels, sexploitation films and home movies."

I feel like this is a good place to start, since it brings up important questions like how to negotiate, why is honesty important, why is monogamy the assumed norm, where did it come from, and how do we step away from the stigma of "monogamous and cheating" into the realm of "consentual polyamory".

posted in Poly Under 35 - 3 replies

about a poly under 35 website

2006-03-23T17:35:53Z

I'm looking at putting a website together for people who're poly and under 35. I figured I'd put up a calender, have a "what is poly?", maybe some resource lists, a link to the events list...
What would be helpful to have on this site? Are there questions you wish you had seen answered when you got into the poly scene? A who are we/what do we do thingy? Links?
I've only ever made 1 website, and it was an egotistical website devoted to how awesome I was... therefore, I have little experience. :)

posted in Poly Under 35 - 2 replies

poly podcast

2006-03-22T19:45:59Z

http://polyweekly.libsyn.com/
This is nifty!
I may use this as well as a media we use for question-starting. :)

posted in Poly Under 35 - 0 replies

Polycookiery Strikes Back!

2006-03-17T01:13:42Z

Ok, ok, guys, you're all wah wah wah, I wanna eat cookies...
Maybe it's cause the Girl Scouts are out in force. Notice that, anyone? We sure did!
So, I propose we set up the next Polycookiery Munchy Munch for March 19th, at 7:00 PM.
What's the deal?
Well, I need 2-3 people to bring drinks- juice, soda, beer, whatever (but if you bring beer, PLEASE take it with you! we still have coronas from god-knows-what).
Everyone else is to bring cookies/brownies/bars/pie. Mmmm, pie. Ok, maybe pie isn't practical, unless you bring plates. But baked goods, basically.
I will probably be making some stuffed mushrooms, and maybe vegan apple crisp. Perhaps, if there is a desire to, we can order pizza or something. :)
Who's in?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 5 replies

Hey you guys!

2006-03-08T21:57:54Z

I wanna see another cookie much (or something similar) happen, preferably on a Sunday evening.
Any ideas? We could do another thing here, or if someone else has a place, that'd be neat. I had a good time, and my Sundays are usually free, and, well, I'm bored and it's rainy.

posted in Poly Under 35 - 12 replies

New Southeasten Poly Personals E-Mailing List.

2006-02-07T14:45:07Z

I just created an e-mailing list for polyamory personals for those in the southeastern states. It is brand new and nothing much is happening yet. But I have been networking with other poly sites and e-mailing lists to get the word out. So things should be jumping soon. ^^

Description for the list:

"Polyamory is the ability to love more than one person at a time. This group is mainly for poly personals in the south eastern states like VA, NC, SC, GA, FL, and TN. I know there are a lot of poly support lists out there but most of them do not allow personal ads. So I decided to create a list for that purpose. This list is not only limited to ads. Discussion on poly related topics and postings for announcing support groups is also allowed.

This is not a swingers' list nor a place to look for just one night stands. Pictures posted to the group must be PG-13 rated or below. You must have a profile filled out in order to be approve for this list. Intial postings will be moderated to cut down spam and the like to the list."

Site for the list:
groups.yahoo.com/group/SEpolypersonals/

posted in Poly Under 35 - 0 replies

age difference in being out?

2006-02-06T20:00:10Z

How early would you take seriously someone's self-identification as "poly"?

*I have alot of open-minded friends who's children are being raised in a postmodern world of love. So it would only seem natural that they begin to pick up on terms which WE didn't learn/know of till we were 18-22.*

posted in Poly Under 35 - 14 replies

I would be be cool with my wife having a girlfriend, do that make me poly?

2006-02-06T00:18:02Z

My wife has told me that she has become attracted to women and wants to explore that side of her life. I am totally cool with her wanting that in her life. I don't expect to participate in that adventure other than hoping to be on the recieving end of that sexual energy. She says that she is fine with me flirting and having sexual talk with other women ,but isn't quite OK with the actually getting together with them (Mono with extra options). We are new to this and we want to take anything that we get into, slow. If she does end up developing a relationship with another woman, does that make us into a MFF vee even though my side of the relationship is not open?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 6 replies

For you young kinky folks...

2006-01-09T23:48:22Z

I started this group for folks 18-35 (and their partners) to learn about kink. All sorts of kink, really, and for anyone from curious people, to beginners, to those who have been in the scene for years. And we're having a party, January 13th, a themed party. Hell Freezes Over.
Oh, yeah, it's also my 22nd birthday party!
So check it out- it's cheap, and easy to get to on public transit. Info below-

**************************************************************
HELL FREEZES OVER! a Whippersnappers event

(now with censorship safe wording! :D)

Mission Control and Purrversatility
present-

HELL FREEZES OVER
a Whippersnappers play party

Friday, January 13th
9 pm til 2 am
$10 admission

Baby, it's COLD outside!

Come warm up those cheeks at Mission Control for the return of the Whippersnappers, a SF based group, and run by & for kinky people ages 18-35 and their lovers.

Youth energy and creative attire encouraged (but not required).

Think: Snow Queens, snowflakes, slick cyber demons, fire/ice fairies and hot ski bunnies!

Call 789-8513 for directions

whippersnappers.tribe.net for more info, updates, or to volunteer (a volunteer list will be posted).

Mission Control is a beautiful community space convenient to BART and public transit. It features a great sound system, gender-neutral bathrooms and a fantastic stripper pole! This is not a "Goth" event, though Goths are welcome to attend. :)

posted in Poly Under 35 - 5 replies

Trio Moving to San Francisco - advice?

2006-01-08T04:58:36Z

Our poly trio is finally leaving LA for SF come June! We're coming to visit next week to scope out neighborhoods, and we have questions:

- Which neighborhoods have the best flavor? [I guess I should qualify that: best for me = progressive, earthy, diverse, non-gentrified]

- Is public transport pretty much accessible everywhere, or are some places more unreachable than others?

- We're considering a collective living situation - any suggestions/recommendations? (we like the idea of alt energy/sustainable living or artsy pursuits as organizing features)

- In addition to SF city, we're considering the East Bay. Thoughts? (we hear it's sunnier, a little more laid back...?)

Thanks in advance, and we hope to see you all around town this summer!
Cheers,
John (and Jess and Charles)

posted in Poly Under 35 - 6 replies

Need models pose together for angel photoshoot

2005-12-21T01:34:00Z

I am a photographer and looking for volunteer models to pose together nude for a photoshoot that will become simular to my first collection which you can see at http://annaluxx.50webs.com/

I don't need typically perfect bodies, in fact it would be nice to have more realistic models. Also it would be great to have both men and women. The photos are classy and not pornographic or too revealing. Email me if you are interested!

Thanks. Your poly photographer;)
Anna Luxx

posted in Poly Under 35 - 3 replies

Thank you

2005-12-13T15:44:34Z

I just wanted to thank Kitty, Bruce, and Mike for opening up there home Sunday evening. It vas great to see you two again, to finally meet a few folks I've known from tribe, and a lot of other new faces. Looks like the East Bay gatherings may be more popular than we thought. I'll be looking forward to hosting in the Spring.

You guys are great. Thanks again.

hugs
dub

posted in Poly Under 35 - 0 replies

meow?

2005-12-11T23:48:18Z

anyone out there?
seemed like people were all about a munch, but... now there is one and no one's RSVPing.
you guys coming or what?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 22 replies

Three of Hearts

2005-12-09T21:19:51Z

http://www.seattlefilm.org/festival/film/detail.aspx?id=7225&fid=5

And interesting movie, though I've read reviews that it's almost too rosy...
But worth checking out.

posted in Poly Under 35 - 3 replies

Polycookierous Munchie Munch!

2005-12-06T06:55:01Z

Tis the season for cookies!

Oh, and community, and whatnot... but mostly... COOKIES!

This is an event specifically for folks poly and under 35 to get together, eat cookies, flirt, and do whatever it is that we do. It'll be at my apartment, so be warned- there will be cats. And probably reggae holiday music. And if one of your partners is under 35, good enough for me- come on down. :)

Bring a plate of your favorite cookies, or maybe some apple cider- we'll try to have cider on the stove. This'll be an informal munch to relax with a bunch of other poly folks.

If you don't have a vehicle, post on poly under 35 about carpools, or get to the Lake Merritt BART, and I can swing by and pick you up.

address is on event listing. :)

posted in Poly Under 35 - 4 replies

New tribe for poly-bi-switches

2005-12-05T23:36:50Z

http://tribes.tribe.net/polybiswitches

posted in Poly Under 35 - 0 replies

so, right- Poly Munch?

2005-12-01T19:30:38Z

I think a poly under 35 munch should happen.
I'm not sure if I personally can run it. I might be able to show up and run the first couple, if it can carry on on its own after that...
Where to have it though?
-near a BART station
-at least 1 East Bay locale...
-food is reasonable and tasty, with veggie and meat options
-ability to snack as well as eat a meal.
Any ideas?
Who would go, too?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 8 replies

Poly Under 35 support groups

2005-12-01T05:05:08Z

Do they exist? Anyone wanna start one?

(me! me!)

posted in Poly Under 35 - 2 replies

girly date for Pervert's Prom?

2005-11-23T17:36:08Z

my girly date for the Pervert's Prom ran off to sleep in a van, leaving me with one empty hand and an extra ticket for the Pervert's Prom. Bruce's coming with me, but got his own ticket- anyone wanna come with the two of us?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 3 replies

hey- another idea

2005-10-29T04:44:45Z

what about doing what the leather groups do, and have a monthly munch? we could find a coffeshop or something near public transit, a 7:30-9 time period on some day during the week. we could even have a east bay one and a sf one.

posted in Poly Under 35 - 9 replies

get-together!

2005-10-27T03:38:09Z

i think we're past due for a poly under 35 shindig of some sort. what do other people think? how does October, and maybe early November look?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 23 replies

I loose my attraction for my partners...

2005-10-07T23:31:24Z

This is a bit of a polyamorous dillemma...

I have noticed a pattern with me that I am not really happy about.
I can be as poly as anyone out there, but there's this one thing that blows it for me.

When someone I've been seeing starts seeing someone I REALLY don't like, I loose my attraction for that lover.

It's happend now enough times for me to take note of this.

One woman I had been involved with sleeps with her fetish photographers. I wouldn't mind so much if two of them weren't absolute fucking pricks (one is a known drug addict as well).

Another woman I care a lot for has been dating this racist guy. I thought he was ok until he started making fucked up racist statements. I had real affectionate feelings for this woman, but now, I don't find her attractive anymore.

One more example was a woman I was dating and she started hanging out with this very egotistical and swaggering kind of guy. He's normally the kind of person I just tolerate and don't mind, but when she started seeing him, she started to let all her responsiblities fall wayside.

Is something wrong with me?

I feel like I'm becoming a prude of some sort. It's this strange but very definite deadening of feeling I get when this happens. I must note that I'm not this way when my lovers are enjoying intimate connections with people I regard as nice, cool or otherwise alright people. It only happens when they hang with people I don't respect or actually don't like.

It's not like an end to the relationship or anything that. I remain friendly and respectful of these former partners, I just stop being attracted to them.

Does anyone else feel the same way I do?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 13 replies

Poly Triangle Where One Isn't Poly

2005-09-28T17:19:16Z

I don't know what the protocol on this situation is. Ok...so maybe "protocol" isn't the right word...but I'm a little lost as far as what to do.

I've been "officially" poly for a couple of years now, though in hindsight, it's been my chosen lifestyle for a long long time. I'm currently seeing two people and everything is working fine as far as scheduling and sleep overs and all that other jazz.

The problem I'm running into is this. One of my boys is also poly and identifies himself as poly and has been for awhile. While he doesn't necessarily want all the dirty details about what goes on with my other boy, he's ok with me saying "I can't tonight, I already have plans with R______, but how about tomorrow night." Basically, he's ok with me mentioning my other boy or telling him a funny story about something that happened while I was out with R_____ etc etc.

R____ on the other hand is new to the poly lifestyle. I was very clear from the beginning what it was going to mean to date me. He's ok with it in general, but he has a hard time dealing with me mentioning C_____'s name at all. Which makes it difficult for me, because if R____ calls and wants to do something, but I already have plans with C______, I don't want to lie and say "I can't tonight, I'm hanging out with my friends".

I don't want to rub his nose in the fact that there are other boys in my life, but at the same time....it makes it difficult for me to schedule and have as open a relationship with him as I'd like to. I feel like there's a portion of my life that I'm not able to share with him.

I'm not sure if I should sit down with him and try to talk about this with him, or if I should just leave well enough alone and see where things go. I'm starting to think maybe I should just give him my copy of "The Ethical Slut" and see what happens after he reads it.

Blah.

posted in Poly Under 35 - 13 replies

Are you poly when you're single?

2005-09-21T00:57:49Z

I've been thinking a lot recently about how relationships start, specifically to what extent I already have a sort of relationship I want in mind and look for a person to have it with, as opposed to simply going out, meeting people, and just letting interactions take whatever form they take.

I've spent a lot of time identified firmly as monogamous and also a while being poly. Last time I was single, I decided to find the person first and decide on the type of relationship later. In many ways it's worked out, but I do worry I may have made comprimises that could hurt me.

So, when you are single (no partners at all, no sex), do you still present yourself as poly? Why?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 8 replies

spending time

2005-09-19T23:29:21Z

Say you have more than one committed relationship, and you want to spend lots of your time with both partners. Is it possible while avoiding having anyone feel neglected/resentful/hurt/torn? How do you do it without getting yourself into impossible time commitments?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 8 replies

I got disowned over being poly

2005-08-07T01:52:04Z

My mother's pretty toxic, so I'm not gigantically upset by it, but has anyone else had similar experiences?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 13 replies

Hi all!

2005-07-23T11:50:49Z

New here, just being friendly!

posted in Poly Under 35 - 4 replies

'Comperison'

2005-07-19T04:20:50Z

I recently had this term related to me in a poly context as 'jealousy turned inside out', a way to describe the feeling when possesiveness steps aside and makes room for joy. Could anyone elaborate?

I've definitely experienced the sentiment, but I'm finding it hard to relate the concept when the term itself is new to me...

posted in Poly Under 35 - 2 replies

oh man, what to do?

2005-07-13T19:49:34Z

Hey everyone; I've got a situation over here. My paramour and I (my 2+ years primary woman) just met a girl that we are 100% in agreement on (and 100% into). She is showing all the signs of someone who wants to be brought into the fold, and we are trying our best not to show her how much we want to bring her in.

The reason is that there is an ethical issue that pretty much prevents us from acting. We met her through a friend - a friend who is dating her. Granted, their relationship doesn't look like it's going to last long, but you can take it as a given that I don't want to disrespect someone else's relationship. Since we're not into swinging, bringing guy-o into the picture isn't an option.

What we want to do, although it's not *completely* ethical, is let her know that if at some time in the near future she were to become single, there's a place in our lives (and our king bed) for her. I'm certain she won't react negatively to this information. It's really hard to meet someone that we both groove on and as they say, you have to strike when the iron is hot. It's just no good when the iron is in someone else's fire, and the last thing we want to do is hurt someone else's feelings. Yes, it's selfish, but respectfully so.

Have you guys run into this situation? Do you have any experience or advice to share?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 10 replies

Poly Family Planning

2005-07-12T01:57:46Z

Wonder if any of us under 35 year olds are considering child raising, families and are making use of polyamory to create alternative options for supporting this. I know the nuclear family makes me a bit uneasy, but the notion of creating a lovetribe that can do this and allow for more individual time during those 20 or so years of raising children makes me think it more possible.

posted in Poly Under 35 - 4 replies

meeting the elusive girlfling

2005-07-03T04:28:44Z

how do you do it?
i've tried craigslist... but i still get emails from men.
i've tried butchfemmematchmaker... but... i'm not really a femme, and i'm looking for butch and femme women... so... it doesnt' work very well.
i'm currently trying grrl2grrl... maybe that'll give me something to go on.
but its really hard to meet women.
i go to a lot of events. everyone seems to know me.
so why can't i meet that girlfling i can date, play with and love?
any tips for a girl in need?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 7 replies

New, just saying hello

2005-06-29T01:49:10Z

I am new to this tribe. Actually, I am pretty new to this whole tribe.net thing. It's a great resource.

So, introducing myself. I am sure you can click on my bio, but as far as polyamory goes. I have been poly most of my life, only figuring it out about 10 years ago. I am in a long-term committed relationship that is continually growing and changing. I also have an on and off again girl. I am looking to connect with like-minded people (as most of us in life are) and am glad that this is available.

Blessings
Christine

posted in Poly Under 35 - 8 replies

At andy's invitation...new topic..."scheduling"

2005-06-29T01:23:06Z

Okay, perhaps we can talk about scheduling. What is the "structure" of your relationships (or what you see taking form)? Do you have a schedule...ex: I see John on MWF, Susie on T, myself on Th, Sat, Sunday we all get together, etc...

How do you maintain time when you find yourself wanting to be with one person more than another?

I am posting this because...I have a primary relationship I am very comfortable in. I do not want anything else, nor do I have the time for anthing that is overwhelmingly consuming. For me, right now, a very casual relationship is something that works. I am curious about others on here.

Blessings
Christine

posted in Poly Under 35 - 1 reply

What do you guys think about this guy...

2005-06-20T20:00:00Z

he wants to join and i have reservations, after looking at his profile.
http://people.tribe.net/thisisjosh79?_click_path=Application%5Btribe%5D.Person%5B257f233a-3964-430a-ad05-46f8cbcd5c0a%5D&r=10535

posted in Poly Under 35 - 8 replies

Free Herbal School Collective

2005-06-20T03:35:21Z

Not related to poly (posts in there don't have to relate to poly anyways, btw), but I thought some of you might be interested. I've just started a a new tribe! Check it out...

Free Herbal School Collective
tribes.tribe.net/freeherbalschool

A collective of people in the Bay Area, CA who are interested in learning from and teaching each other everything to do with herbal healing. This includes but is not limited to:

- incorporating healing herbs into food
- foraging for wild and medicinal plants and mushrooms
- making your own herbal salves, tinctures, and other herbal medicine
- how to grow an herbal garden

With all the issues we are dealing with today, from peak oil to corporations patenting seeds I feel it is very important to learn how to take care of our most basic need. We all need to eat and we all need our good health. Do you have skills or knowledge to share? Are you curious about these topics and want to learn more? Let's get together and start teaching each other what we know!

posted in Poly Under 35 - 2 replies

Ecstasy - Snuggletown! DJ dance / party

2005-06-15T20:59:44Z

* Ecstasy * - A Benefit for Snuggletown! -
- featuring DJ Cipher, DJ Nyah & B-Grade -

Saturday, June 25th, 7:30pm - 2:00am
Ritual starts at 9:00 pm
Portland, OR (please RSVP for event location)
RSVP@snuggletown.org

http://www.snuggletown.org/ecstasy.html

Ecstasy is a multi-tiered Dance/Snuggle/Play Party event. Our DJs will spin a great mix of tunes in the Hot Room on the main floor starting at 7:30PM. At 9:00, we will begin our opening ritual, a space to explore connections through movement and contact. A play space awaits you beyond if you want take it to the next level, and make your connection more intimate. Be inspired to move, dance and connect, according to the desires of your body!

posted in Poly Under 35 - 0 replies

Poly-Void?

2005-06-11T19:07:14Z

When, (if at any age)(at any event), can poly be explained with out any misunderstandings?

Reason is when I tried to explain how I feel about monoogamy to my friend's little sister (she's 13), she had a difficult time understanding how Polyamory "works" for me. Not that she was crying out devil!devil!devil!. The poly concept just didn't fit her concept of loving relationships. She has a boyfriend. So did I explain it wrong, or is there a certain age or personality type which would understand it easier?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 11 replies

Hard Questions

2005-06-07T20:10:26Z

I view the subject of polyamory as an evolving set of experience and theory concerning sexual relationships among greater than two people. I would say that it is an area of human interaction that is being explored in new ways in the present day. It's not that people haven't had multiple partners before -- hardly! Rather, the people doing it have not, to my knowledge, previously formed a community of this size and diversity. More importantly, we have not had the words to talk about it before. Whatever else one may say about The Ethical Slut, it gave us a common language.

Yet I think the "state of the art," as it were, has advanced since the publication of that book. It is my feeling that the sexual part of poly relationships is now relatively well understood, at least within the community. We have a lot of collective experience, and we have evolved the social protocols and etiquette required to manage multiple sexual partners. In short, we seem to know how to handle the fact that our lover is fucking someone else.

But what happens when your lover falls in love with someone else? What happens if this lover is also your "partner" in some committed sense?

It would be nice to say that this is fine, that your partner can love anyone that they wish to. This is true, but it ignores the consequences of reality. For a start, losing attention hurts. While it is nice to think that all of one's lovers may be equal, in practice this is rarely true. For example, a new person will always be more sexually exciting for a while. And shared resources such as housing and bank accounts don't just shift and flow with everyone's changing emotions, with the result that you may be stuck living with someone who is really now more interested in someone else.

How do we deal with these issues? Is it really possible for a relationship to survive one person falling deeply in love with someone else? Should we try to set boundaries around emotional connections, and is this even possible? What role does commitment play here? Does "I loved her first" have any meaning, or should we all just flit off to whoever is most interesting at any given point in time? How do children and families fit into this model?

What, in other words, is the state of collective knowledge and theory on the subject of a partner falling in love with someone else?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 4 replies

flirt with a random cute person in this tribe

2005-06-03T23:49:46Z

we need to flirt more
i think
giggle
probably because i want a boyfriend
but that is besides the point
the point is
we are young
we are cute
flirt with one and another
yaaaaay!

posted in Poly Under 35 - 17 replies

HEY!

2005-05-31T21:50:32Z

Hi everyone. I'm completely new on here...well...I'm completely new to polyamory....so I'm going into all of this not knowing what to expect. My boyfriend and I decided to explore this together...with some help from some "guidance" from some much more experienced polyamorous couples. We had our first "experiences" at a burner party on Saturday.

It was nothing major...he fooled around a little with a girl and a guy (the guy part was slightly shocking...didn't see it coming...but I'm okay with it). I repeatedly told myself that I would be okay with whatever happens...but in all honesty....it hurt a little. I'm okay now...we've talked about how I felt....and he understands. My question is....does it get easier?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 4 replies

Flirting

2005-05-26T07:03:58Z

Well, here's my flirt... Eileen, you are gorgeous! hope to see you at High Sierra.

posted in Poly Under 35 - 1 reply

a random flirt thread

2005-05-25T06:39:29Z

i think there should be one in here
don't you?
we are always so serious
lets have some fun
gilbot
i have absolutely no idea who you are
but you are most adorable
and not to mention
you are photographed with totoro
one of my favorite japanese characters
can i pinch your bum someday?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 5 replies

scriptology

2005-05-19T20:39:23Z

So in my polythoughts i am ssslllooowwwly concocting poly themed characters to go into poly themed plays/tv/film scripts in case some bold producer is ready to back the revolution one day. i want to do the L Word for polyculture-it's fuckkin time!

Anyone wanna help?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 8 replies

Action?

2005-05-18T15:10:30Z

Where is everybody? I haven't seen any posts in a while. There have been some good debates on this tribe recently.

posted in Poly Under 35 - 14 replies

Oh Crap

2005-04-22T12:55:31Z

I am 35 now. I feel so old.

posted in Poly Under 35 - 5 replies

Not So New Tribe: SF PolyKinkery 18-35

2005-04-19T05:49:06Z

If you're part of the next generation, reside in San Francisco, are kinky AND poly (identify as, or curious about), then come check out SF PolyKinkery 18-35. Our first tribe get together is planned for May 7th.

sanfrancisco.tribe.net/tribe/...a94f-a51e-4424-a978-eacd9cf33c04

posted in Poly Under 35 - 0 replies

PurrVerse reads @ ELYSEUM!

2005-04-12T08:18:43Z

Date & Time: Tuesday, April 12 2005
7:00 PM
Location: MISSION CONTROL
2519 Mission St. @ 21st.
San Francisco view map
More Info: (510) 467-3303

Here we go! Another sensational installment of our literary and spoken word paradise!

If you didn’t know already, ELYSEUM happens every 2nd and 4th Tuesday, early evening @ the Mighty Mission Control! (peep the details below)

Our features for the round-robin spectacular this week are not only great writers, but hotties in their own rights as well (Beauty and brains all together! -Does paradise get any better??)

EVIL PONY GIRL aka Tori Crawford

I’m proud to announce the command appearance of a true ELYSEUM star! You all wanted more of her, so here she is! Evil Pony Girl has not only wowed the ELYSEUM crowd with her intense and humorous work, but she is now MISS BONDAGE-A-GO-GO! (Congraduloso!). A fascinating and stunning model, she is currently in Larry Utley's "Women In Control" and she will be in Charles Gatewood’s soon to be released book “Dirty”. A complicated and compelling personality, Tori is an utterly unique individual of strong will, determination, self-creation and extreme sensitivity. Tori’s writing reflects her strength of character and her fascinating view of the world.

www.eros-guide.com/articles.....1-30/tabitha1130/
Her art and photography can be viewed at
www.evilponygirl.com

HAMBONE JOHNSON

HAM is the acronym of the absolutely adorable and amazingly gorgeous author of the outrageously funny *HAM'S Fabulous City Adventures*. Her exploits are gut-busting funny! (-and she is NUT-busting beautiful!). She had featured in our very first ELYSEUM event and simply floored everyone with her hilarous accounts of her crazy exploits. Often sexy, occasionally disgusting, frequently peculiar, but ALWAYS entertaining, Hambone Johnson is a force to be reckoned with!

PURRVERSE

This girl has been trailblazin’ the Bay Area ever since she arrive none-too-long-ago from that eastern seaboard. Having already started the Bay Area chapter of The New Generation (the national network of young BDSM players) and having had been an outspoken and active member of the Poly Under 35 Tribe, Kitty PurrVerse is now also a writer for SPECTATOR magazine! –and would you believe she only recently turned 21! (whoa!). Kitty has also worked her way into the hearts of the Kinky Salon community and I will also attest to the fact that this girl can WRITE! It’s hard to believe how much talent she has! I have had the pleasure of reading her work in private and I am very happy to present her here at ELYSEUM.

sanfrancisco.tribe.net/person...d1791-7643-4c75-a2cc-a9bf5ff67675

We start the evening with an open list.
If you have something to read,
show up early and sign up.
We are already expecting
some wonderful, talented people
who wish to share a piece or two.

(please note that signing up
will get you 5 min. of time to read.
I have one rule at this reading:
Please do not be boring! ((^_^))

As always,
you are most welcome to
bring your own drink or food.
Bring some to share
and you are sure to make a few friends.
(no excessive intoxication please)

ELYSEUM:
A Paradise for Heros and Poets
-an official House of the SuperStarAvatar Nation.
www.superstarnation.com

Tuesday, April 12th
(and every 2nd and 4th Tuesday)
7pm at MISSION CONTROL
2519 Mission St.
(@ 21st, Close to BART,
Parking garage only a half a block away on 21st)
SF CA
www.superstarnation.com/missioncontrol/

$5-$10 sliding scale
(seeking volunteers to help at event)

Also announcing the ELYSEUM Writers Workshop coFacilitated by me, SENSEI, and the very cool and oh-so-smart Alexandria Volk. If you are interested in refining and working on your writing with a great group of supportive people, please give me a hollar!

posted in Poly Under 35 - 0 replies

thinking cap time!

2005-04-11T16:19:06Z

i'm doing a paper on polyamory/nonmonogamy, and i would like to get some input on various subjects that i can quote (anonymously or not, please let me know) in my paper. please answer as many of these questions as you'd like, in as much detail as you'd like. thanks!

(ps- i know a lot of these have been covered on these forums before- i need things i can quote that people are ok with me doing that with. :)

Jealousy- what does it feel like for you, what triggers it, what do you do about it when you feel it, and does it make you reconsider polyamory/nonmonogamy? Why or why not?

Why polyamory or nonmonogamy? How did you end up identifying yourself or your relationship in that way?

What are your feeling on raising children in a poly, nonmonogamous or otherwise tribal fashion? Have you or anyone you know experienced raising children in that environment? What was your/their experience? How do the children react?

What prejudices have you seen in people whom you've told about your lifestyle? What other difficulties have you encountered in the world at large around your lifestyle? How do you feel society's negative attitude towards sex in general affects the way you live?

Communication- how does it work for you? What tactics do you use to reduce conflict? What are your agreements like?

What are some joyful experiences you've had within the poly or nonmonogamous lifestyle? What are the benefits?

What is the value of having sex with someone you aren't "in love" with, or having a committed relationship with?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 3 replies

new tribe: queer poly

2005-03-21T23:04:23Z

i don't want anyone to think i think y'all here at Poly Under 35 are homophobes or any such thing, because in this tribe it is so not a big deal no matter what folks are or do and i really like that. i just find many of the other poly tribes have a fair amount of heterosexism and that there are some cultural differences and mismatches in how poly is done in different communities, so why not have one for queers.

the queer poly tribe is for anyone queer and poly, i encourage discussion, but if you just wanna join to let folks know you are both queer and poly, please please do.

the scope of poly is from polyfuckery to polyfidelity, purists welcome, but no dissing others or putting down people for what they do, and how they do it.

you can find it here

http://queerpoly.tribe.net

posted in Poly Under 35 - 0 replies

what is cheating in a poly relationship

2005-03-20T17:02:01Z

cheating looks different when it comes to poly but it still happens. what do other folks thing would be cheating while poly?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 22 replies

For the purists

2005-03-16T14:52:57Z

I thought some people might like this if it hadn't already been discovered. Poly & Picky tribe - for those looking to get away from a broader sense of non-monogomy and into a more traditional sense of polyamory.

http://sanfrancisco.tribe.net/tribe/d4a1c364-a669-475c-b282-acc8c6ca963f?_click_path=Application%5Btribe%5D.Tribe%5Bd4a1c364-a669-475c-b282-acc8c6ca963f%5D&r=10535

posted in Poly Under 35 - 2 replies

Contracts?

2005-03-16T08:11:45Z

My girlfriend and I were discussing the prospect of making a poly contract, some sort of worksheet that could be filled in as one negotiates / changes the terms of a relationship. Alack, alas there seems to be no model for this sort of thing.

So, my fellow lovers, what goes in it? What sections does it need?

posted in Poly Under 35 - 4 replies

sex negative. RANT

2005-03-16T01:58:24Z

so many people in these poly tribes come across as so sex negative.

and so so judgemental.

people come here or to other tribes to ask questions about getting started in poly or how to find someone to be with and if they don't get the jargon right or don't meet some weird standard people have for how poly is "supposed to be" done they get flamed so much i wouldn't be surprised if they often quit the tribe and decide that "poly" is a crock of shit, since these folks all talk about "love" and "caring" and "consciousness" and "compassion" and yet show none themselves.

if you cannot assist someone with their questions in a constructive and non-judgemental manner why answer them at all. there seems to me to be alot of people who were hurt by sex on these tribes and therefore they are attempting to shield themselves from pain by attacking anyone who seems to trigger these hurt by sex buttons.

there are cool, responsible, kind, caring, and respectful people on this tribe who also have casual sex, go to sex parties and play parties and orgies, have one night stands, have fuckbuddies, and sometimes have sex with strangers. that does not mean they are not capable of being kind, loving, caring or respectful towards those sex partners, and it does not mean they treat people like crap or dirt or any other such euphamism that implies bad behaviour. in fact the worst lack of respect and disregard for caring i have seen has often come from those accusing others of a lack of loving or caring. how respectful is making assumptions and accusations?

i have been a member of this tribe for as long as it has existed. i have seen this sex-negative attitude from almost the beginning. as someone who is sex-positive and one of those above mentioned orgie goers, i find some of what people say here distasteful, some insulting, and some just plain stupid. i stay for the words of those who are not like that, like Assaf and Dub and some others whose words always seem to come from a positive life-learning/life-sharing place and not from a place of bashing.

please folks, just check yourselves before giving insults instead of advice. if sex without a great love is not your thing that is absolutely cool. maybe you should offer your love advice as examples from your own life where sex has hurt you and love has been your saviour, without assuming others work the same way. be clear that this is your experience, and accept, please, that others CAN have sex without a committed relationship and still be good poly people who are loving, caring and respectful.

thanks.

-robin

does anyone have comments? i would love to hear a discussion on this.

posted in Poly Under 35 - 44 replies

Agree to disagree?

2005-03-15T16:33:28Z

I didn't really want to put this in Robin's thread.
I realize we're all entitle to our opinions and feelings, and to a greater degree our personal definitions of what "poly" is...
BUT FOR CHRISSSAKES I'M TIRED OF ALL THE BACK AND FORTH BULLSHIT ABOUT PEOPLE'S DEFINITION OF POLY. IF IT ISN'T RELEVANT TO THE THREAD AND IF IT'S NOT SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR, DON'T FUCKING GO THERE.
Though there's quite a few people in the tribe I mostly see the same regular people replying to what people are asking about. I think we already know how most people here feel about their definition of Poly, we don't need to hear it again and again, AND WE DON'T NEED TO SHOVE IT DOWN ANYONE'S THROAT, OK? If I really want to know what you think all I need do is read some of the archived threads. And unless someone is deliberately coming into this tribe with a swinger's mentality or looking for a hook-up, there's no need to flame.
PLEASE--can we all just agree to disagree?

Pardon the explicative, and thanks for letting me get that off my chest!

posted in Poly Under 35 - 5 replies

How do you find a third?

2005-03-12T00:25:21Z

So, my husband and I really want a girlfriend, or at least a playmate (what couple doesn't these days though, right?).

We are both very attractive, young, fit, interesting, going places, hip, but not hipster snobs.....So, we should have no trouble, right?

But, we've known we wanted to try this out for a couple years, and we've tried to go out and meet someone several times, or test out a friend or two to see if they were into the idea, but it still hasn't happened.

We've both been successful finding someone to mess around with by ourselves, but how do you meet someone together? It's kinda awkward to meet someone and be like, by the way, this is my boyfrind and he'll be joining us for the night ;-).......

I know this isn't impossible, we just haven't figured it out yet.

Any advice?

Thanks
Julie

posted in Poly Under 35 - 14 replies

Poly in or near Boulder CO?

2005-03-11T03:24:04Z

I'm pretty new to tribe and to Boulder. I just moved here 2 months ago. I was just wondering if there's anyone in or near the Boulder area? I'm having a bit of a hard time here, I'm attending Naropa, and came out to my class about being poly and they were very judgemental. This was really hard for me since I consider my sexuality to be a major part of my spiritual practice. It isn't so hard to understand, polyamory pushes a lot of peoples' buttons.
Would just be nice to know there are some local people who understand and i could maybe meet. I've been to swing clubs and know from experience that mostly what you find in those places are unhealthy relationships and people with a lot of issues around sex. I'm wanting to make connections with people, friendships and relationships of all kinds, but as many of you know, it's not easy being poly, so i could use some support. :-)

-Kimberly

posted in Poly Under 35 - 0 replies

and another question ...

2005-03-09T02:20:37Z

What, in your opinion, are teh fundamental questions that need to be addressed in negotiating a polyamorous relationship? Particularly with someone who's new to poly (oy vey, says I).

I'm cross positng these to the larger poly tribe, fyi.

xo

-b.

posted in Poly Under 35 - 1 reply

new girrl.. dilema

2005-03-03T19:51:09Z

I have this reoccuring issue in my life.. I have lived a poly lifestyle since I was 15.. I have long term relationships with some.. and shorter with others.. as the world turns..

I enter into a poly relationship.. I choose not to have my partners worls collide.. if they do they don't know.. I am equally afectionate with my friends an lovers.. in public..

Ok so the issue.. I begin a new connection.. they are not seeing anyone else.. and I start to panic.. I have issues being the only person in their life intimatly.. I start discussing the possibilities of them taking some time to meet new people..

One of my friends thought I should hint at when I was seeing one of my other lovers.. So there was no question that I was poly.. .

This is all fine and dandy.. but it is reoccuring that after time passes.. they do not find others.. and well.. They want to settle down..

how to break the cycle? Meet at poly parties? I have found the ones I have attended.. in San Fran and TO.. a little to much on the seeking sex side.. and well.. I am seeking deeper connction than..

hmm.. Does anyone have a little wisdom in this department..

posted in Poly Under 35 - 14 replies